Burning Boats

My boat has carried me here, to this place where I am now.   She has been sturdy and strong with her sails at times windless but still she ferried me.  Many times,  painful times, I have run aground.   Doubt.   Fear.  A marriage crumbling.   A soulless job.   The truth is that my boat has been on fire for sometime and each time it catches flame, I desperately put it out with the very excuses that have caused my boat to stay stuck in one sand bar or another.  Persistance?   Honey, I have that in spades and I have managed to push that boat back into deeper waters, charred and smoking despite knowing deep down that it’s time to let  go, that I will never get where I need to be with her.  

So today, I know what boat to burn.    I drop anchor and let the smolder  spark the dry wood back to flame.   I jump off, into the unknown and allow myself to be carried by peaceful, hopeful waters to the next place.    Faith keeps me buoyed.    Moonlight promises me an easier way, my way.   More connection.  Less fluff.  And.  So grateful for what’s to come.

See Danielle LaPorte’s beautiful post

On Kindness

Today I am focused on being kind to myself and what that means for me.  I believe it starts with allowing myself space to feel everything good and bad.   The trick is not to dwell on the bad but to notice the feelings in this container I created and say “huh”,” that sure does look bad”, and move on.

It’s difficult to switch from participant to observer but it can be done with practice, with gentleness.   T0 encourage kindness, I will often journal my thoughts.  As painful as it sometimes is to write down what hurts most, I feel an immediate sense of relief once I finish.   It’s as if the thoughts I have in my mind run loose, causing me to ruminate and be sad.  Once on paper though, these thoughts are transformed as messages to my soul, to my ego.   My true self has the ability to look back at the journal entries and make important connections or notice powerful patterns.  This is true for both positive and troublesome thoughts.

Kindness to yourself is about allowing yourself to be heard in a way that is soothing to you and validates your presence.   There is wisdom to be found in each of us and I believe that we uncover this wisdom when we are ready, when we have made space for it.  I think of this as like having a checking account.  You know you are spending but are you spending wisely?  How do you know?  When was the last time you checked? Maybe you put it off because you are afraid that you have spent too much.  Or there is pain that you don’t want to acknowledge or more importantly, joy!   Once you peer into the reality of the situation, you can take stock and spend more wisely.  This is true of your emotions as well.

Here is to kindness and spending wisely.

Wish I was Here

Good friends, good food,  and laughter at a pretty table.

image found here http://pinterest.com/

Dreamy

Find image here http://www.cotedetexas.blogspot.com/

Dark Confections

Lovely. 

http://pinterest.com/pin/172344868/

Yes Please

http://pinterest.com/pin/171127142/

Hope you have a fabulous Wednesday!

 

Kitchen Love

 

 

Find it here  http://www.houzz.com/photos/

Thoughts on Balance

There have been many discussions about how to achieve balance.   I believe balance is designed to be subjective and the way we get to our particular balance is when we accept that life itself is an ebb and flow.  

I think of being a child, sitting on a see-saw with a friend.  We each work together to propel each other up and then down.  We work in tandem.  Until, that is, one of us jumps off without warning or else stays sitting and leaves you suspended.  What then?  What do you do when what we “thought” kept us balanced moves or refuses to move?  Do you stay put or find a way to adjust the imbalance?

There have been many, many times when I have felt the weight of imbalance.  Too many responsibilities, too many things to do, too many people to take care of.   I am stuck on the ground with no one to help lift me.   Until that is, I shift these things either in my mind or in my physical world so that my load is lightened.  Other times I crave to be grounded, to have more challenge,  more growth, more of everything  so I look for things to anchor me such as more projects, more clients, volunteering at my children’s school.    It’s about perspective and allowing yourself to shift into possibility.   I believe with possibility there is everything. 

Anything can shift, if you are open for it.

Rainy Day Shelter- Can you relate?

It’s pouring in Tampa this morning which is  not unusual as we are in the rainy season.  It’s gray and the air conditioning is on too high in my office building.  Staring out my office window I am reminded of winter in New England, holed up inside under a blanket watching the snow fall.  It was so peaceful.   It’s always comforting to be sheltered during times like this.   I remember when I was about 7 or 8 years old walking outside with my Holly Hobby, clear plastic umbrella in the rain.  I had on a slick raincoat and I held the hooked handle of the umbrella which was large for me, and felt safe under it’s dome.  Rain drops patted over the arch of the umbrella as if I were under a stone.  Rain poured around me but my small body stayed dry.  I remember wanting to stay there always.

 

I think most of us seek shelter of some kind and in whatever form that feels soothing.    For me it’s very literal- a roof over my head, a warm cup of coffee in my hands, a blanket to warm me.  Figuratively, I also create shelter or safety with my words and my actions.  I say “no” to keep from accepting activities that do not have purpose for me or I delay it if it doesn’t feel right by saying “not yet”.   I keep that protectice sheath around me until I am ready to be exposed.  What I am really describing here is boundaries as they relate to safety.

 

It’s difficult to grow if we never move out of safety.  We only need the reminder of it, since we can create it any time we wish.   But if we don’t move, we stay stuck and possibly grow roots making it difficult to expand or explore.  I myself have been untangling myself from this protection, the shell that I created for myself. 

 

I do this through connection.  Person by person, experience by experience.  It’s not too fast or too slow.  It’s just right.   The result is that I am finding generous people that exist outside of my rock.  They can teach me so that perhaps I can find a larger rock under which to rest and grow.

 

And if it moves, I will move with it.  

 

An Offering

Dear Readers,

Most of my life has been spent helping others.     I have helped hundreds of people over the years navigate their way through the unknown.   This is my life’s work.   I specialize in transition.  I have primarily helped people as a HR professional in a corporate environment as well as helping friends and family. 

I am reaching out to an audience that I feel needs my help.  I want to help you.   I want to help those that are looking for help with the way forward.  Some of you are stuck.  You are struggling with what to do and how to do it.   I know,  I have been there.  I know what it’s like to reach out to anyone or anything that could possibly be helpful ( I once lit a special “decision” candle that was supposed to help me make a decision…. it didn’t).

I am offering low cost Coaching for those that are in need.  I have room for 4 people over the next month of August.  We can meet just once, or we can meet a few times.  It’s up to you.

If you feel at all unsure or have questions, please feel free to email me. 

What do you truly desire?

With love,

Christian

 

Top 10 Things I am Grateful and Thankful For

Top Ten Grateful/Thankful
1. My children, asleep peacefully in their beds
2. Love of a good man (my husband)
3. My sense of wonder and sense of higher purpose for each of us
4. My tribe.  Thank you for your daily inspiration.
5. Cooking in my kitchen (my religion)
6. Hum of the dishwasher, washing machine and/or dryer.  Keeping my family clean and cared for.
7. An article, a book, a piece of art, the trees swaying in the breeze.  All Divine.
8. Coffee and chocolate
9. Mountain top view of Blue Ridge mountains. Magical.
10. Pretty things.

I would love to see yours!