My boat has carried me here, to this place where I am now. She has been sturdy and strong with her sails at times windless but still she ferried me. Many times, painful times, I have run aground. Doubt. Fear. A marriage crumbling. A soulless job. The truth is that my boat has been on fire for sometime and each time it catches flame, I desperately put it out with the very excuses that have caused my boat to stay stuck in one sand bar or another. Persistance? Honey, I have that in spades and I have managed to push that boat back into deeper waters, charred and smoking despite knowing deep down that it’s time to let go, that I will never get where I need to be with her.
So today, I know what boat to burn. I drop anchor and let the smolder spark the dry wood back to flame. I jump off, into the unknown and allow myself to be carried by peaceful, hopeful waters to the next place. Faith keeps me buoyed. Moonlight promises me an easier way, my way. More connection. Less fluff. And. So grateful for what’s to come.
See Danielle LaPorte’s beautiful post
Today I am focused on being kind to myself and what that means for me. I believe it starts with allowing myself space to feel everything good and bad. The trick is not to dwell on the bad but to notice the feelings in this container I created and say “huh”,” that sure does look bad”, and move on.
It’s difficult to switch from participant to observer but it can be done with practice, with gentleness. T0 encourage kindness, I will often journal my thoughts. As painful as it sometimes is to write down what hurts most, I feel an immediate sense of relief once I finish. It’s as if the thoughts I have in my mind run loose, causing me to ruminate and be sad. Once on paper though, these thoughts are transformed as messages to my soul, to my ego. My true self has the ability to look back at the journal entries and make important connections or notice powerful patterns. This is true for both positive and troublesome thoughts.
Kindness to yourself is about allowing yourself to be heard in a way that is soothing to you and validates your presence. There is wisdom to be found in each of us and I believe that we uncover this wisdom when we are ready, when we have made space for it. I think of this as like having a checking account. You know you are spending but are you spending wisely? How do you know? When was the last time you checked? Maybe you put it off because you are afraid that you have spent too much. Or there is pain that you don’t want to acknowledge or more importantly, joy! Once you peer into the reality of the situation, you can take stock and spend more wisely. This is true of your emotions as well.
Here is to kindness and spending wisely.
Good friends, good food, and laughter at a pretty table.
image found here http://pinterest.com/
There have been many discussions about how to achieve balance. I believe balance is designed to be subjective and the way we get to our particular balance is when we accept that life itself is an ebb and flow.
I think of being a child, sitting on a see-saw with a friend. We each work together to propel each other up and then down. We work in tandem. Until, that is, one of us jumps off without warning or else stays sitting and leaves you suspended. What then? What do you do when what we “thought” kept us balanced moves or refuses to move? Do you stay put or find a way to adjust the imbalance?
There have been many, many times when I have felt the weight of imbalance. Too many responsibilities, too many things to do, too many people to take care of. I am stuck on the ground with no one to help lift me. Until that is, I shift these things either in my mind or in my physical world so that my load is lightened. Other times I crave to be grounded, to have more challenge, more growth, more of everything so I look for things to anchor me such as more projects, more clients, volunteering at my children’s school. It’s about perspective and allowing yourself to shift into possibility. I believe with possibility there is everything.
Anything can shift, if you are open for it.